


Sunset Neon

by atenebrae



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amusement Parks, Awkwardness, Comfort, Fear of Flying, Fear of Heights, First Kiss, Fluff, Funfair, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, No Angst, No Smut, Romantic Fluff, Season/Series 14, Sweet, attractions, beginning of relationship, hand holding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 03:36:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14844936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atenebrae/pseuds/atenebrae
Summary: After finally getting rid of Michael, Dean decides to take some time for himself and suggests to his brother they might all go to a fair near their hometown. But fate decides it another way and he finds himself alone with Cas, his feelings bubbling dangerously close to the surface, even among the loud music and hundred of smells and flying attractions he fears so much.But as they wander through that new world of colors and lights, far away from their usual life of blood and grief, they will find themselves getting closer with every step they take, and perhaps their road will lead to something they both hoped for...





	Sunset Neon

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I'm back with another story!  
> I meant to write some kind of heartbreaking fic after the s13 finale, but I thought it was definitely painful enough. So here is pure fluff with no angst whatsoever, just your two favorite lovebirds having some light-hearted fun! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and don't hesitate leaving your thoughts and comments!

“Hey” Dean said as he entered the library, a light smile on his face.

Sam ripped himself from the old book he was reading and rose his head to him, a little dizzy. “Hey” he said as his brother sat at the table.

“What are you doing?” Dean asked, leaning a little to look at Sam’s book.

Sam blinked, surprised his brother would care. “Uhm, it’s about the Knights Templar. The Men of Letters made some research about them and apparently they were one of the earliest kinds of demon and monster hunters. Like us.”

“Cool” Dean answered and usually, Sam would hear the sarcasm in Dean’s voice, not that he would try to hide it at all. But there, he sounded honest, and when he looked back at Sam, his eyes glittered of some deep, bright emotion. It was the happiest Sam had seen him in weeks, months even.

“Hey, I saw there was some kind of funfair like thirty miles away from here, and I thought we could all go there” Dean suddenly said after a moment of silence. “Get some fun, for once.”

Sam rose an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Sam chuckled and closed his book for good. His attention was turned elsewhere now. “I don’t know, I never thought you’d be the type to go to that kind of event. And we’ve never been to a fair, even as kids.”

“Exactly!” Dean exclaimed and his lips broke into a wide smile. “We totally deserve that.”

Sam’s heart leaped forward. He had rarely seen his brother so enthusiastic, and it warmed all his soul. “Well, sure, when is it?”

Dean seemed about to jump of excitement from his chair. “Tonight is the last time it’s open” he said.

“Ah” Sam said, and his brother’s features immediately fell to worry.

“What?” he asked, frowning. “What’s going on?”

Sam shook his head. “It’s just that Jack wanted to see the last Star Wars tonight.”

Dean frowned deeper. “Wait, am I going insane or didn’t we already go last week-end?”

Sam gave him an apologetic smile. “I know but… He just wants to go again, and I couldn’t refuse so I promised… But it’s alright, I can tell him we’re going elsewhere, he’ll be just as happy.”

“No, no, don’t” Dean hurried. “I get it, really.”

“Are you sure?” Sam asked in a soft voice, considering his brother with a little worry growing in his heart. After all he had been through, the last thing he wanted was to hurt Dean.

 

But this one only shook his head, and when he smiled he didn’t seem to hide his hurt. He _meant_ it. “Han Solo _really_ is something” he said with a wink, before he slammed the table and stood up, about to leave.

“Wait” Sam said and Dean stopped in his tracks to turn back to him, questions floating in his eyes. “Why don’t Mom and I take Jack to see the movie, and you take Cas with you to the fair?”

Something seemed to break in Dean, very quietly and very subtly and he considered Sam wide eyed. “Why?”

“I mean, you really seemed excited to go, so just go.”

Dean rose an eyebrow. “Maybe I wanted to see Star Wars again.”

“Sure, but the fair ends tonight. You can still see Star Wars anytime.”

“Right” Dean said, before he lowered his eyes. “But I’m sure Cas won’t come.”

“Why’s that?” Sam asked, genuinely confused.

Dean looked back at him and shrugged. “I don’t know” he said, and now he sounded a little sorrowful. As if the perspective of Cas refusing broke his heart. “He just won’t like it.”

“You don’t know that” Sam asked, his voice soft. “Just ask him.”

 

He wasn’t stupid. He saw that something was wrong with Dean, in the way he was just afraid of asking Cas to come with him, or maybe just of being _alone_ with him.

Sam’s eyes had been opened a few weeks back, and he hated himself to have been so blind for so long. When they had finally trapped Michael in a circle of holy fire, they had all tried to save Dean. He, Mary, Jack, and even Rowena had shouted his name in desperate voices, to make him cast the archangel out. Their begging had cracked the celestial mask, but it was Cas who ultimately broke it down.

He had asked Rowena to make a small path for him through the flames and before Sam could react he was standing in the circle, incapable of escaping, trapped with Michael. And then, slowly, Sam had seen. How terrified and desperate Cas had looked in that moment, begging Dean to cast the angel out, to come back to them. Michael had suddenly gripped him by the throat, visibly confused by the effect Cas’ words had on his control over Dean. He had pressed Dean’s hands on Cas’ skin, rough and merciless, his fingertips burning icy blue, the power finding its way to burn Cas’ grace.

“Come back to us” Cas had repeated in a low, agonizing voice as his own eyes had filled with light, his grace slowly sipping from his bones. And above Sam’s and the others’ cries, he had added, “To _me_.”

And suddenly something had shifted in Michael’s cold stare and before he could utter a word, the room was filled with a brutal, blinding white-blue light, snuffing the holy fire away, Dean and Cas falling limp on the floor.

 

Sam had stood motionless for a moment, breathing heavily. He was about to make a step when they had finally stirred. Dean and Cas had sat up and their eyes had met the other’s. They stared at each other, sounding blue and green eyes, breaths short and painful. And then Dean did something that broke a lock in Sam’s mind.

He had pulled Cas to him in a shaky embrace, guiding his head to his chest, before he had leaned his own tired head against Cas’ hair. _Thank you_ , he had murmured, closing his eyes as he kept breathing too fast, too heavy, his features tense of fear and pain and desolation. Yet, his grip was strong and determined, his fingertips lost in Cas’ hair.

Even as he had hugged Dean and then drove back home, Sam had turned the thought again and again in his head. Cas had been the one who broke Michael’s power. And there had been something so raw, so intense in Dean’s eyes when he had looked at Cas that Sam had realized there was something left unsaid. Which now made him think Dean and Cas needed to sort some things out.

 

“Dean” he said, making his brother escape his reverie and look at him. “Just ask him, alright?”

Dean stared at him, doubtful. Sam didn’t know what exactly made him so afraid, but it was definitely strong enough to make one of the fiercest hunters he knew freeze where he stood.

“Hmm” Dean muttered, nodding. Still, he wasn’t leaving the room.

Sam stood, now definitely worried. There was something else than just the dread to face Cas. It was if Dean felt he didn’t deserve to do something just for himself. Dean had told Sam he felt particularly down after what happened with Michael, but Sam never thought he was so crushed by the weight of his mistakes.

He got closer to Dean. “Hey, you deserve this, alright?” he said, and Dean looked up at him, eyes unsure. “And if you don’t want to do this for yourself, do it for Cas. He’ll be happy to come with you, I know it.”

Dean stared at him for a little longer, before he had a small sigh. “Alright. Are you sure Jack won’t mind?”

“Dean” Sam said, his voice soft but insisting. “Everything will be alright.”

Dean nodded once again and this time he turned around and disappeared into the corridor to Cas’ room. Sam had a sigh of relief and sat again, soon diving back into his book.

 

On his side, Dean felt all his steps resonating in his chest, his heart pounding nervously behind his ribs. It was foolish of course, to be scared. It wasn’t a stranger, it was _Cas_. The worst thing that could happen was him refusing to go with Dean. He would have to deal with his disappointment and heartache, but that was all.

Still, he felt the dread rising inside him as he got closer to Cas’ room.

“Get it together, Winchester” he whispered to himself, his nails diving into his clenched palms, leaving red half moons on his skin.

He arrived in front of Cas’ door and stopped there. All his instincts told him to turn back and forget all about it, but he wanted so badly to go too. His being was torn in two, his hand froze in the air as he had been about to knock. He closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath. It was going to be OK, he repeated himself as his knuckles finally rapped against the door.

 

He entered the room and his eyes immediately met Cas’. The angel had stopped in the middle of the room when he had noticed Dean’s entering. The hunter’s heart missed a small beat when he saw Cas was listening to the mixtape he had given him.

He gathered himself and got closer to Cas as this one took his earphones off, gently putting the Walkman down.

“Is everything alright, Dean?” he asked, his frown darkening his bright blue eyes.

“What?” Dean said, Cas’ voice ripping him from his mind where he rephrased what he had to say a hundred times. He blinked. “No, no, everything’s alright. I...” He paused, barely breathing. “I just came to ask something.”

Cas’ eyes lightened up and he moved closer, not realizing he was setting Dean’s blood on fire doing so. “Anything you want” he said, his voice low and soft.

Dean felt as if his heart might leap from his chest. “I… I’m sure you won’t like it.”

Cas’ lips turned into a thin smile. Now, Dean really wanted to turn back and leave town just not to have to face the situation. “Tell me” the angel said, still staring at him, almost unblinking.

Dean closed his eyes for a few seconds, before he looked down at the floor, at anything but Cas. “Well, I saw there was a fair near, and I wanted to go, you know try something fun for once. I asked Sam, but he, Mom and Jack are going to the movies. So I thought that maybe, you could come with me...” He felt the heat rise to his face and he stumbled over his words, still not daring to look at Cas. “Well actually it was Sam’s idea, but I told him you wouldn’t like it” he said in one breath before he stopped, feeling as if he had rambled for hours.

 

There was a small beat of silence where Dean’s heart clenched with expectation and then Cas spoke.

 

“Of course I’ll come with you” he said, his voice even lower than usual, charged with emotion.

Dean’s eyes snapped to Cas and he stared at him, shaken to the core. “Really?” he said, immediately wishing his voice didn’t sound so weak.

“Yes, really” Cas said, his eyes shining brighter than ever. A little too bright even, as if tiny tears filled them. But there was no sorrow on his face, just pure, astonished joy.

Dean could barely speak. “Great” he managed to mutter and they both stared at each other in silence before he shook his head and gathered his thoughts again. “Alright, just let me get ready, and we meet in ten in the library?” he asked, feeling so strange and clumsy.

Cas nodded and his lips broke into a wide smile like Dean had never seen. It warmed his heart like a thousand little suns and now he had hard time ripping himself from Cas’ room. He just stared at him, his breathing heavy of raw joy.

“Alright, I’m going” he finally said after a moment, his hands shaking of excitement. Cas nodded again, his eyes glittering in the dim lights of the bunker, and these two blue gemstones followed Dean as he left the room, and still stared at the door long after he was gone.

 

Dean went to his room. He felt all his body buzzing with some kind of frantic electricity and he kept pacing, not knowing what to do first. He felt like a teenage girl getting ready for her first date. And he was far from being a teenage girl. And that wasn’t a date. Of course it wasn’t.

But God did it feel the same in his belly, knotted with dread and acid.

 

He put a light jacket over his plaid and t-shirt, shoved his wallet and phone in his pockets and went for his weapons. And froze. He didn’t know what to do. For once, he wanted to got out like someone normal, unarmed, if there was such thing in America, he thought with a chuckle.

He picked a blade and turned it over in his hands. He wanted to spend an evening out of his life, out of the world of blood and rust and pain he had to walk through every day. He wanted to enjoy one night without worrying about a monster leaping at his throat, without searching for the beasts lurking in the shadows. Of course, he didn’t want to be in a situation where he’d have to face a monster without anything to defend himself, but he would be pretty damn unlucky if he was attacked the _one_ time he got out.

He sighed and put the blade down. He wasn’t a hunter tonight, just someone who wanted to have a light-hearted evening with someone he liked being with. Just once. His eyes briefly flickered to the ceiling, and he prayed whatever was up there to keep anything from ruining his night. He wouldn’t take it well, for sure.

He checked on his watch and realized it had already been at least fifteen minutes since he left Cas’ room. He swore under his breath and ran out of his room to the library. Cas was already there, chatting happily with Sam.

 

Dean broke into a calm pace, trying to look relaxed when he clearly wasn’t. His attempt visibly didn’t work, for both his brother and Cas turned at the sound of his race, giving him a confused look.

“Sorry” he muttered, feeling his face redden. He looked at Cas, his heartbeats racing a little at the sight of the angel’s tender expression. “You ready?”

“Yes” Cas answered, beaming. After all he had been through, there was no more beautiful vision to Dean’s eyes.

“Alright, here we go” Dean said, incapable of keeping a wide smile from spreading on his lips. “After you” he added, gesturing for Cas to pass. He caught his brother’s small one-sided smile behind the angel, but decided to ignore it. It meant nothing good, and nothing he wanted to talk about.

 

This evening was all about him and Cas having a good time. With a pang to his heart, Dean thought they had never really been alone, or only for hunts. Sure, there were a few times were Cas had watched a movie with him or when Dean had given him the mixtape away from Sam’s eyes, but other than that there had been nothing outside the bunker.

But as he saw Cas turn expectantly to him, he thought that maybe, things could change. He just needed a little luck and a lot of courage. But with the way his heart leaped forward at the sight of Cas’ shiny eyes, he thought he was definitely going to need way more than that.

 

**X**

 

The drive to the fair was soothingly calm. For once, Dean was not driving for a case, directly into the monsters’ mouths, stopping in crappy motels on the side of dusty roads.

No, this evening, he was rediscovering the pleasure of driving. The windows were down, letting a soft warm breeze into the car, gently stroking his skin, gently moving a few strands of wild hair. The night was already falling, the sky turning a deep blue, the horizon the only point of color, burning of pink and purple and orange, streaked with bright red and pale blue clouds.

They were both silent, not daring to break the peaceful atmosphere surrounding them. Cas looked by the window, his calm eyes following the landscapes unraveling by his side. From time to time, Dean glanced at him, a small smile tugging at his lip, before he swiftly looked away when Cas turned to him, feeling his stare on him.

 

Dean’s heart felt incredibly light, as if all his worries had flown away in the cool summer wind. After a moment, he spoke, gently breaking the quiet that settled between the two of them.

“I still can’t believe you agreed to come” he murmured, almost to himself.

Cas turned to him, his eyes shining under the lights framing the highway. “Why?” he asked, considering Dean with a confused expression. “You know I enjoy spending time with you.”

Dean felt his chest tighten. A strange, overwhelming feeling bubbled inside him, and he had to gather all his courage to look back at Cas, the terrible warmth moving like an ocean when he crossed Cas’ gaze.

“Yeah, yeah” he muttered before quickly looking back at the road. “But I don’t know, I guess I thought you’d think it was silly.”

“If it matters to you, then I’d never think it’s silly” Cas whispered, his eyes not leaving Dean, burning like two pinpricks into the hunter’s mind.

He kept himself from shivering, the same deep feeling moving like a snake out of sleep under his skin. “It’s just… that I never got a chance to go as a kid, and after all we’ve been through lately, I thought I could use some fun for once.”

“And you were right. You deserve it” Cas said, a smile spreading on his lips. “But I do have one condition to come along with you.”

Dean rose an eyebrow. “You do?”

“Yes” Cas said, staring at him unblinking “I want you to stop worrying, just for this evening. To enjoy your night out without thinking about anything else.”

Dean chuckled. “Yeah, you’re probably asking too much.”

“No, I’m not” Castiel said, true concern piercing in his voice. “I just want you to feel alright.”

Dean’s eyes jumped to Cas and he gave him a small smile. “I appreciate the attention. I promise I’ll try” he said, making Cas’ eyes open wide of surprise. Dean’s optimism wasn’t something he was used to. “Hey, look, we’re here” he added, pointing at the horizon.

 

Castiel turned and his heart missed a tiny beat when he saw the fair in the distance. Just from where he was, he could see several attractions spinning in the air like great blades cutting the sky open, casting hundreds of bright colors around.

On his side, Dean felt his pulse quickening. His blood shivered, all his muscles and nerves turned tense of excitement. He felt like a little child, as if the fair had a mysterious aura that dived deep into your bones as soon as you got close. There just was something so indescribable in the air, some kind of electricity making him feel more alive than ever.

 

He could barely contain himself as he hastily parked the car on a large field by the fair. His chest rose and fell fast, his fingers twitched as if his whole body was filled with pure, raw energy. When he got out of the car, the wind hit him hard, soft and warm like a divine caress. The music too, resonated deep inside his bones. They weren’t too close, so he could only perceive the low booming of it like strange thunder in the distance, but it was enough to make his breaths short and quick.

He realized a few seconds after Cas had come out of the car too, standing by his side. Unwillingly, he let his eyes drift to the angel, whose coat softly moved around him in the breeze. His eyes too bore some kind of fascination mixed with curiosity, and Dean was almost sure Cas’ heartbeats were as loud and brutal as his.

“Wait” Dean said, before he pulled his jacket and plaid off, before he put the jacket back again and threw the plaid in the car. “Yeah, better” he said, all his emotions overwhelming and hot against his skin. He looked at Cas, who was still staring at the swirling lights. “Hey, maybe you could, I don’t know… lose the tie?”

Cas turned to him, frowning. “What? Why?”

A smirk spread on Dean’s mouth. “You look like you’re going to arrest someone, or something” he said, making Cas roll his eyes.

“You’re being ridiculous” he said, nevertheless taking his tie off. “Better now?” he asked.

Dean hummed, a ball of iron in his throat. “Maybe the jacket too, and you can keep your damn trenchcoat on” he said after a moment.

Cas sighed and followed his instructions. Once the trench was draped again over his shoulders, he looked back at Dean, falsely upset, but his eyes carried a sweet amusement.

“Yeah, better now” Dean said, though it felt odd to see Cas differently, a little more human, as if he had been a star hung high in the sky and had fallen right next to him in the span of a few seconds. “Ah, wait just one last thing” he said, and stepped closer to Cas. He unbuttoned his shirt for just two rows. “Here, just like I told you.”

“Yes, I remember, for a date” Cas said as a matter of fact. And then he froze, suddenly realizing what he had said. Dean looked at him, stunned, his fingers still on the buttons of his shirt.

Before the situation could get any more awkward, he moved back, his hands falling back on his sides and he cleared his throat, looking at anything but Cas, who was doing the exact same thing with Dean.

“Alright, let’s just go” Dean finally said, cursing himself internally, feeling like he had ruined the evening in just one second. But when he looked at Cas, the angel’s eyes glimmered in the dark, some kind of bright hope shining in the bottom of them.

 

Together they crossed the small field, surrounded by dozens of cars shining under the colorful moving lights. When they crossed the road, Dean couldn’t help himself but take Cas by the sleeve at the sight of a car arriving a little too fast to them. He knew damn well a car wouldn’t hurt Cas much, but it was stronger than him, like an instinct set deep inside his bones.

They finally arrived at the gates of the fair. Dean held his breath, raising his eyes to see the tall arch of neon lights announcing the entrance to the amusement park. Dean glanced at Cas, who gave him a smile and together they walked into the whirlpool of colors.

 

Dean felt his breath leaving his lungs again. He was facing a real sea of human beings, a crowd thick and loud everywhere he looked. Small children ran without looking where they were going, and parents followed them with several melting ice creams and candies in their hands, pushing strollers where small babes wailed and stuffed animals overflowed. And that was without taking the noise the attractions made into account.

He stopped in his tracks, looking all around him, mouth agape. He tried not to look too dumbstruck but it was beyond him. The world had turned all neon colors flashing, small sounds popping happily in every corner and music so loud it pulsed in his chest. He saw bumper cars colliding with each other, immense attractions swirling in the sky in a blur and others going round so fast Dean could barely see them move, carousels tall and golden turning slow and hypnotizing, hook-a-ducks surrounded by dozens of children with faces frowning in deep concentration. And it was only the beginning of the park, and God knew what was left to see.

Dean could barely breathe, his rusty soul sucked into this hurricane of sensations. He was only ripped away from that insane, colorful world when Cas soft voice resonated beside him above the noise around.

“It’s wonderful” the angel said, and when Dean turned to him, he saw the thousands lights of the attractions shining in Cas’ eyes, turning them into stunning gemstones.

Dean drew a small breath. “Yeah” he could only whisper back. “Where do we start?” he asked, turning back to Cas.

“I think we should start by something simple” Cas answered, “Not like this, for example” he said, pointing at a pendulum ride where the passengers were left hanging upside down in the sky.

“Yeah, I’m never going into this anyway” Dean said, glaring at the attraction as if it could kill him where he stood.

“Why not?” Cas asked, frowning.

“I don’t want to die in one of these” Dean said.

Cas chuckled. A soft, low sound that rang to Dean’s ears like a melody. “I’m sure it’s entirely safe.”

“Yeah, that’s what the people who died in it said.”

Cas laughed again, but it was not a mocking laugh. It was rather amused, tender. “I didn’t know you were afraid of heights.”

Dean turned swiftly to him. “I’m not!”

Cas gave him a side look. “It’s OK, Dean, I’m not judging.” He smiled. “Beside, I’m sure I can make you go into one by the end of the night” he said, starting to walk towards the rows of claw machines.

Dean trotted after him. “Wait, is that a bet?” he asked, a smile breaking on his face.

“Yes” Cas said distractedly, his eyes widening at the sight of the prizes shining behind the glass.

“So I have to find something you don’t want to go in” Dean said, raising an eyebrow in defiance.

Cas gave him an amused look. “I’m not sure you can” he said.

“Don’t worry about that. We’re doing this fair, like it or not” he said, and wide sunshiny smiles broke on both their faces. Dean turned to the colorful machines. “Alright,” he said, clapping his hands once, “Should we try to win some for Jack?” he asked, gesturing at the heaps of stuffed animals and small toys.

“Definitely” Cas said, grinning and so the evening began.

 

It turned out that Castiel could get pretty intense when it came to claw machines. Angel or not, he was just like anyone: eyes narrowed to a thin line, brow furrowed in concentration, shouts of anger when the claw grasped nothing but air. Dean looked at him, his face hurting from smiling so much, and when Cas noticed him, he frowned.

“Are you laughing at me?” he said, glaring back at the machine.

“No” Dean said before he stood next to Cas. “Here, let me try. Which one do you want?”

“This one” Cas said, face still dark of anger as he pointed to a small stuffed dog.

“Alright” Dean said before he put a coin in and took the joystick.

 

He soon understood why Cas was so upset. From afar, the game seemed fairly easy but once you were there, it was much different. Dean found himself grasping the joystick tight, features tense as he focused on his goal. His mission was to brought as much silly stuff as he could for Jack, but he was starting to doubt his ability to do so. It was even harder to concentrate when Cas was shouting him what to do, for it made Dean smile despite himself and all he wanted to do was to turn to see Cas’ face, bright with human emotions.

“No, to the right Dean!” Cas suddenly shouted as he leaped for the joystick. Before Dean could do anything, Cas’ hands were over his, guiding the claw. Though his breathing definitely stopped, Dean tried not to show it and focused again on the game, and not on how warm Cas’ hands were on his.

When the claw finally seemed to be at the right place, they pressed the button and it went down. Dean could barely breathe as it came up, the little stuffed animal dangerously dangling from it. He felt Cas stiffening beside him, and both of them turned still as stone until the claw brought the dog to its exit and finally dropped it down.

Then, both of them shouted of joy, making people turn to them. Only then did they realize their hands were still clasped together. They looked up at each other, heat turning their cheeks red. They moved back hastily and retrieved their price, pretending nothing happened.

“Was worth it” Dean finally said after a moment, imagining Jack’s expression when he would have it. He may looked like a grown up and was a powerful Nephilim, but really, he was more of an excited, soft five-years old.

“What’s that?” Cas said from afar, and Dean turned around only to see the angel had already moved on, eager to continue his conquests. Dean chuckled and tucked the stuffed animal under his arm before he came to Cas’ side.

The angel was pointing at a claw machine with way more expensive prices. In the middle lied a box for a Nintendo DS.

“I didn’t even know they still made those” Dean said as Cas put a coin in the machine.

As he watched Cas played, his eyes inevitably fell upon his hands and his own almost itched to come help him. But something was keeping him from doing it, a terrible fear that Cas would jerk away, and he would have ruined the evening that was going so well for the moment.

 

But before he could decide what to do, he heard a thud. Cas retrieved the box with a beaming smile.

Dean considered him wide-eyed. “How did you do that?”

Cas smiled at him. “With a little help” he said, and his eyes briefly shone white-blue of grace.

Dean gave him an astonished look. “That’s cheating.”

Cas shrugged. “No one can prove it” he said as he walked to the front desk to get the real prize, and not just an empty box, which would be pretty disappointing.

Dean followed him, still stunned, and something moved in his stomach. Something that had already been fluttering for a while, but there it was a whole flight of burning feelings as he looked at the angel move through the night and neon lights.

As the man behind the counter packed their price, Dean turned to Cas. “We should put this back in the car, otherwise we can’t go in the other attractions” he said, gesturing at the spinning wheels and lights.

“You can put that in the lockers, next to the bathrooms” the cashier said. Seeing the two of them gave him a suspicious look, he smiled. “Don’t worry, someone is watching over them, nothing will get stolen.”

Cas’ eyes asked Dean silently, and the hunter nodded. After getting the price they started walking towards the lockers which were indeed very secure, the man watching over them smiling kindly at them. After nearly throwing what they won into it, Cas dragged Dean away, eager to continue their wandering through the park.

 

Some things were easy for them, such as the shooting range. Dean was obviously very good with a gun, and Cas had incredible precision with the small darts meant to pop colorful balloons. A few minutes and they had won several gifts for Jack, leaving beaming under the stallholders’ confused looks. A travel back to the locker and their hands were free again.

Dean felt his being lighten as he walked among the colors and warm air and laughter. Cas seemed so joyful, his pace light and hurried like Dean had never seen before.

 

The night had completely settled now, the black of the sky cut by the blue and red and pink of the human lights. Dean was overwhelmed with emotion, joy slowly eating his strength away, making him suddenly notice the heavy and sweet smell of food floating in the air.

“Hey,” Dean said, turning to Cas, “I thought we could grab a bite before continuing. Well, I mean if you want, since everything tastes like _molecules_ to you” he added, a little embarrassed.

Cas shook his head with a smile. “Not anymore” he said. “Maybe it’s a good idea to comfort yourself before you get up there” he said, his eyes glimmering as he looked up at the swings flying in the black sky.

Dean rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. “You’re impossible” he said, walking to the food stand, a huge thing painted a bright pink with lights all around.

People were lining up, and Dean thought a lot were probably the less brave – or crazy – ones who preferred to stay on the ground while their peers jumped in rides to death.

The smell of food was intoxicating, heavy and delicious, making Dean’s belly growl. The stand had more things than he could imagine: waffles, crepes, churros, popcorn, cotton candy, fries, ice creams, candy apples and much more. If he ever retired from being a hunter, he thought there were worse place to work, and he would most definitely enjoy being surrounded by soft lights and wonderful smells every night.

“But if people eat all of this,” Cas suddenly asked, frowning, “Aren’t they going to be sick once they are in the attractions?”

Dean smiled. “Not everyone wants to be hanged in the sky, Cas. Most people just come for their kids, they fish a few ducks and they eat loads of sugary crap. They just come to have some good time with their loved ones, that’s all.” He paused and his voice grew a little distant, and his smile became soft as honey. “I didn’t really think I could, but I’m loving this evening so far.”

 

When he turned back, Cas was staring at him, his eyes wide and starry, an expression Dean couldn’t understand on his face. As if Dean was the greatest thing he had seen among this show of light and colors defying gravity.

“What?” he asked in a murmur, his eyes now incapable of leaving Cas’ stare.

“Nothing” the angel whispered back, still staring at him. How Dean looked in that moment was leaving him speechless: he was tall above the rest of the crowd, his hair soaked in bright neon and his eyes so green and luminous they seemed inhuman. But most of all, his smile was so wide and soft on his face Cas felt his grace and heart flutter wildly at the sight of it.

Dean ripped his eyes from Cas when the woman behind the counter called out to him. He ordered some fries and a Coke, while Cas tried out the candy apple. The lady smiled as she picked it up.

“You know it’s called a _love apple_ in french?” she said, packing their order with a smile. “Some people even offer them to their lovers.”

She handed the bag to Dean and Cas, both speechless and incapable of denying whatever she was implying. Dean paid and they thanked her quietly before sitting around a small table. It felt like they had entered a bubble, a quiet space where the fair was just a dull background noise.

 

Dean absentmindedly picked his fries, his eyes following the movements of the attractions around him. On his side, Cas stared at him for a moment, still breathless after the vision of Dean’s eyes under the fair’s colors. He looked away, his heart swelling with a feeling too strong, too dangerous.

“Which one should we try first?” he asked after a moment, biting into the apple, juicy and surrounded by a thick layer of caramel.

“I don’t know” Dean said, turning to him, his eyes calm and soft in the night. “I sort of imagined not going in them.”

Cas laughed softly. “What’s the point of going to the fair, then?”

“Attacking defenseless stuffed animals. At least I know _they_ can’t kill me.”

Cas burst into laughing. “You never know” he said, before pointing at a roller coaster racing the rails near them. “What do you think of this one?”

Dean winced. “Pretty high, that’s what I think.”

“I heard humans got rid of their fears by facing them.”

“Hmm” Dean muttered, “Or we could start by something less…”

“Scary?”

“Yeah, that” Dean said, rolling his eyes. “Like the haunted houses. I don’t think that could hurt us.”

A wide smile appeared on Cas’ face. “Alright” he said, finishing the last bites of his apple. “I saw there were two of them: one where you sit in a wagon and one where you have to walk through it. People say it’s scarier if you have to walk.”

“The walking one it is” Dean said, standing up in one movement. In the corner of his eye, he saw Cas smiling again, and it was enough to make him want to do anything the angel wanted.

 

But it turned out hunting monsters for a living wasn’t the same as walking through a false haunted house with people hiding in the dark, ready to scare the hell out of you. Several times Dean hissed and jumped aside, grabbing Cas’ sleeve to keep his balance. He just lost all his bearings, the thick darkness of the walls surrounding him, the false house filled with noises of strong wind and creaking stairs and whispers. His only anchor was Castiel’s presence by his side, soft and reassuring, even if the angel couldn’t keep the smirk from spreading on his lips when they both got out of the house.

“Don’t repeat that to anyone” he said, blushing to the tip of his ears.

“Never” Cas laughed, “But you have admit it was funny.”

 

Dean sighed and walked away, grumbling. Cas followed him, beaming. After stopping for a calm pause at the arcade and casino, they walked in search of bigger attractions. The adrenaline was rising high in their bodies, filling them with courage and electricity.

They were walking through the park that never seemed to end, swirling colors unraveling for eternity. Dean was picking bits of his cotton candy, his fingertips sticky of sugar. Cas stole some too, looking around with eyes wide and bewitched.

Dean didn’t care anymore if anyone looked his way, he was doing everything he didn’t have a chance to do as a kid, and he wasn’t going to let anyone stop him, not even himself.

 

He stopped in his tracks, seeing Cas had done the same to look at an attraction. Dean came to stand beside him to observe it too. It was some sort of large circle spinning on itself and slowly rising vertically, little baskets hung on it, themselves swaying with the speed. Dean could hear the passengers’ screams even over the loud music pounding from the attraction.

He looked at Cas. This one observed the attraction, lips slightly parted of amazement. The swirling ring in front of him cast lights on his face, turning his eyes glowing, his features ethereal.

Dean blinked, realizing he had been staring for a while. He had a little sigh. “If you go, I go” he said, loud enough for Cas to hear it above the music.

The angel turned back, eyes even wider. “Really?”

Dean shrugged. “Yeah, this one is not that high.” Castiel’s eyes suddenly glowed, his entire face lighting up of excitement. “Here, hold this,” Dean said, giving him the remains of the cotton candy, “I’m going to buy the tickets.”

 

A few minutes later, they were both seated and Dean felt like he had made a mistake. The vehicle was swaying above the ground, dangerously open all around them, a tiny metallic barrier for only protection.

“God, I hate you” Dean said, turning to Cas.

The angel gave him a wide smile. “No, you don’t.”

Dean’s heart leaped forward. “No I don’t” he repeated, and suddenly became very aware of how small the wagon was, how close they were. His eyes dived into Cas’, before they drifted down his face, stumbling on his lips, falling upon his collarbone, half hidden by his shirt. He looked back into his eyes, and these ones seemed to open like oceans, swallowing him whole, the neon lights dancing madly in them.

Dean felt himself drifting towards Cas, slowly leaning in, before the vehicle suddenly hummed under him. He moved back, his eyes snapping wide open as he looked around, startled. The attraction began to stir like a beast coming out of sleep and the stallholder announced the beginning of the ride.

“Too late to say I want to leave?” Dean whispered, only half-joking.

“I’m afraid so” Cas answered and when Dean turned back to him, he found a little strength in those bright blue eyes, and he realized how lucky he was to be here with Cas, to have an evening only for himself. The attraction stirred again, and the vehicle started to move on. Dean swallowed down hardly.

 

The ride was actually pretty quick, or anyone would pass out, Dean supposed. But that didn’t mean he hadn’t been terrified for these tiny minutes. The speed pushed his back to his seat, keeping him from moving. The wind was harsh against the skin, his senses blurry with the scented fog and pounding music surrounding them. He wanted to shut his eyes tight until it was over, but then he felt a light touch on his fingers, and though he could not move his head, he knew it was Cas’ hand over his own. The touch eased him a little and he finished the ride with his eyes wide open, enjoying the blur of color and sensations given to him.

 

Cas and he helped each other going down the metallic slope. Even on solid ground, Dean felt like the world kept spinning around him and his legs trembled, making him lean against Cas for a few seconds.

“Are you OK?” Cas asked, his voice carrying his bright laughter.

“Yeah, that was fine” Dean said, still breathless.

“I’m sure you insulted the attraction about ten times, Dean.”

Dean glared at him, only making Cas laugh, and his own heart melt. They started to walk again a moment after, but not before the fair stopped spinning around them. They settled into a calm pace, enjoying the now cool breeze on their faces. They walked so close their arms brushed against each other, and a deep-rooted instinct made Dean want to grab Cas’ hand. But he didn’t, curling his fists into balls to keep himself from reaching to him.

 

“I think I found our last stop” Cas said, making Dean turn to him. The angel looked in the distance, and so Dean followed his stare.

A high tower. Swings spinning around it, almost bent horizontally, high in the sky. _Too high_.

“You want to kill me, right?” Dean said, though he didn’t refuse. In this moment, he would do anything to please Cas. The angel smiled at him and with a small sigh in return he followed Cas to his doom.

Along the way, Cas often stopped to look at the attractions. One in particular caught his attention. _The House of Mirrors_ , Dean read above the entrance.

“What do you have to do in this one?” Cas asked.

“Find your way in a maze of mirrors,” Dean answered. “Might hit your face once or twice. Also you can get stuck in it and they have to come get you.”

Cas froze and turned away, ready to move back on. Dean gave him a surprised look and trotted to catch up with him, making him stop.

“Hey, you wanted to try everything since we arrived. Why not this one?”

Cas glared at the attraction behind Dean. “I do not wish to be trapped in a maze of mirrors.”

Dean’s mind brightened and his eyes opened wide, filled with mischief. “Claustrophobic much?”

“Maybe.”

“Well, you know what humans do. Face their fears.”

Cas gave him a terrified look. “You wouldn’t.”

Dean grinned at him. “I found my fair share of the deal. I will go flying up there only if you go there with me” he said, turning back to the attraction.

Cas seemed to consider the situation, pouting. After a few seconds, he said, “Alright” and followed an overexcited Dean to the entrance. Much like the hunter, he regretted accepting the minute he was in.

 

Dean led the way, arms outstretched before him not to hit a mirror. Cas followed him closely, feeling his chest tighten, the walls closing on him. He hated everything about the attraction, from the mirrors all around him, reflecting his own unease, to the feeling of being trapped in a tiny box he would never be able to escape from.

All lost in his thoughts as he was, he didn’t see Dean turn in a particularly well hidden passage and suddenly he rose his head, and Dean was gone.

His heart stopped in his chest. “Dean?” he whispered to the empty corridor, making a few careful steps. The more he moved on, the more worried he grew. What if their evening had actually been ruined by some kind of monster that snatched Dean away between two mirrors?

He moved on and as he walked, he felt his body becoming hot of worry and fear, sweat rolling down his spine. He looked in every way, Dean’s name passing through his lips like a hushed prayer, his eyes darting nervously for every corner. After a moment, he felt the tears prickling in his eyes, feeling as if something terrible had happened. A heavy weight fell on his throat, his mouth tasting like ash, and all he could think of is the memory of Dean, tall and bright under the colorful lights, and God, what if it was the last he had of him?

 

But just at the moment where he felt like falling on his knees among the mirrors, he suddenly collided with someone. He rose his head, ready to apologize when he crossed bright green eyes and his heart eased immediately.

“Cas, you OK?” Dean asked, both his hands on Cas’ arms, his eyes sounding the angel’s.

“Yes, I just got lost” Cas sighed, feeling terribly foolish.

“You scared the hell out of me” Dean said, with such emotion in his voice Cas looked up at him, startled at the worry painted on his features. “I thought I had lost you.” Cas just stared at him, speechless, so he outstretched his hand to him. “Now you follow close, alright?”

Cas stared at his palm, reaching out to him. His heart barely dared to move behind his ribs. After a moment, he managed to raise his hand and put it in Dean’s. He thought the hunter would mind when he’d realize what was happening, but Dean just turned back and started walking again, gently pressing Cas’ fingers in his.

And just like that, they were out. Cas let out a heavy breath, only to feel another getting caught in his lungs when he realized Dean was still holding his hand, fingers intertwined.

Oblivious to the chaos raging inside the angel, Dean considered his startled expression and chuckled. “Yeah, the spinning thing was nothing compared to that. I wouldn’t recommend.”

 

And he moved on, dragging Cas with him. The angel wanted to say something, bring Dean back to reality and tell him he probably didn’t realize he was still holding his hand in his. But deep down, selfishly, he didn’t want to say a word about it. This tiny gesture felt so soft, so tender, that he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to shatter the moment. He could only let Dean lead him to the high tower and swings, and let his fingers naturally slip away from his when he went to buy the tickets.

Cas felt his heart swell, get so big he thought it might crush his ribs, take all the space and squeeze the air of his lungs. Suddenly, he felt the tears prickling in his eyes, tiny little things burning like fire, blurring the corners of his vision. It confused him at first: he wasn’t feeling sorrowful at all. He was feeling better than ever, even.

But then he realized that was exactly the reason of his tears. After all they had been through, with Lucifer, and the parallel worlds and most of all, Dean getting possessed by Michael, he had thought he would never see the end of this dark tunnel.

But now he was just proven wrong. He felt so light, so _happy,_ it overwhelmed him, like a great ocean of light crashing over him. He watched Dean’s silhouette from afar, soaked in the swirling lights of the fair, and realized it all felt like a dream, though he hoped it wasn’t one. It all felt so sweet, so wonderful he had hard time believing the hunter even asked him to come in the first place. No wonder he couldn’t even believe he had held his hand just a few seconds before…

 

Seeing Dean coming back to him, he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes not to worry him.

 

“Alright” Dean said, finally stopping in front of him, holding out two small plastic tickets. “If I puke, you’ll be the one to blame” he added, grinning. Seeing Cas didn’t answer, and only stared at him with starry eyes, his smile faded and he frowned. “Are you OK? You still want to go, right?”

Cas bit his tongue. He didn’t want to worry Dean, not at all, and yet his emotions were clear as day on his face. He tried a smile. “Yes, of course. Don’t worry.”

Dean didn’t seem very convinced. But before he could say anything else, the stallholder called to the ones wanting to go on the ride, the attraction ready to start at any moment. Dean turned back to Cas.

“Ready?” he asked, his eyes shining of hope.

“Ready” Cas said, and this time his voice was strong, a smile spreading on his mouth.

 

Together they walked to the attraction, and led by a tall man who took their tickets, they came to sit on one of the swings. Once sat, Dean felt his heart leaping furiously in his chest. His feet were already dangling above the ground, the swing gently moving in the wind.

“Just think of it as flying” Cas said by his side.

When Dean turned to him, the angel was giving him a soft smile. Dean winced. “Yeah, that’s not making me feel better.”

The attraction stirred as more people got onto it and Dean stiffened. He didn’t know how he could be afraid of a two minutes ride in the air when he had fought monsters ten times scarier. _The logic of the human mind_ , he thought, annoyed.

The attraction moved again as the stallholder announced the beginning of the ride. There was a jolt and the swings suddenly began to elevate above the ground. Ground Dean absolutely tried not to look at. He took a deep breath as the swings kept getting higher, the sounds of the fair growing more distant with each second, the outline of the distant city appearing like small dots of golden light on the horizon.

“You are going to think this is silly” he said in a whisper, the wind growing colder and more brutal the higher they went.

 

Cas turned to him, only to see Dean putting his hand between them, palm upward. Cas’ breath got stuck in his throat and he could only stare at Dean’s hand, incapable of moving. He heard Dean sucking a breath in next to him, and his fingers began to curl as he retrieved his hand, and Cas didn’t need to look at him to know he was hurt and ashamed.

Quick, he rose his hand and gently slid it in Dean’s, lacing their fingers together. He heard Dean sigh of ease as the swings began to turn, faster and faster and suddenly the world below became a blur.

 

It was as if the world was opening, as if they were discovering new dimensions in reality. Though they went in circles, it felt as if they were moving forward on a celestial road, as if their vision was expanded on each sides, their minds growing wide and great like deserts, like oceans. The wind was strong but cool and awake all their senses. The music was muffled, but the bass pounded gently under them, turning the atmosphere eerie and unearthly. Dean felt his breath being stolen away, as if grasped by some divine being.

He managed to turn his head to Cas. The angel’s face was illuminated by a bright smile, his hair pushed back by the wind, dark strands flying in every direction. When he felt Dean’s stare on him, he turned to look at him, the bottom of his eyes filled with white-blue light. Dean could only smile back at him, his grip on his hand tightening.

Almost too soon, the swings began to slow down, before they gently went back to earth. The man went to unbuckle their seat belts and they got out of the attraction on wobbling legs, trying not to fall down the slope or collide with anyone waiting in line.

 

Once on solid ground, Dean turned to Cas, eyes still wide of amazement. “Wow” he murmured in a breath, “That was really something.”

“Yes” Cas answered with the same astonishment in his voice, eyes immense and luminous. His hair was no longer neatly arranged but completely disheveled, all soft and downy looking. Dean wanted to run his fingers through it, though he kept himself from doing so. The memory of Cas’ hand in his was still burning bright in his mind and he thought if he began touching him, he might never stop, high on the sensation of his fingertips prickling against Cas’ skin.

“Damn, my head is still spinning” Dean said, the world a joyful blur around him.

“Mine too” Cas whispered.

“Maybe we should sit somewhere before we go home” Dean said, feeling too drunk on happiness to already leave the place. “So I can eat again too.”

“Again?” Cas said, laughing.

“Yes, again” Dean said, a smile tugging his lips up, before he led the way to the end of the park where another food stand waited. He picked up a small basket of churros and began to walk with Cas.

 

The end of the park was much calmer, a little green space behind all the noise and colors and cotton candy scented smoke. A little pond caught the moonlight in the middle, insects and night birds chirping in the dark. A few kids lit fireworks up, small balls of colors exploding in the sky, followed by cheers of bliss.

Dean and Cas stopped, observing the scene with small smiles. A loud whoosh sound made them turn back to see an attraction rise in the air, shaped like a claw with seats hanging from each talons. They could hear the screams of fear and excitement even from all the feet up in the sky.

As he took small bites of his churros, Dean realized how good and soothing it was, to have some time for oneself from time to time. Of course, he could go to his room whenever he wanted, but he often felt caged after a few minutes. Sure, they drove through the whole country, but only to get dirty in blood and dust, their road only leading to pain and grief.

But for once he had driven to an evening of delight where he could forget himself and the world around for a few hours. But he didn’t do it alone.

 

He turned to Cas, somehow heavy-hearted. He watched the angel, this one following the spin of the attractions in the sky, their lights diving into his eyes, illuminating his awed face.

Dean lowered his head, his breathing a little shallow. “I wanted to thank you” he whispered, and despite the loud sound near them, Cas heard him.

He turned to him, his eyes confused. “For what?”

“For coming with me” Dean said, looking back at the lights flickering above them. “I needed it” he added, his words a little chocked up. All the pressure and anguish he had felt these past months seemed to suddenly lift up from his shoulders.

“Dean” Cas murmured, his hand landing soothingly on his arm. “Are you alright?”

“Yes” Dean said, a few happy tears blurring his vision. “I just don’t wanna go,” he said with pure honesty. “I’m scared I won’t feel this happy ever again.”

Cas’ heart clenched to know him so hurt. He came to stand in front of him, making him look at him. “Dean, I can’t promise every single thing will be alright. We know it’s not possible with the kind of life we live. But I swear I can do my best to make sure nothing wrong happens to you, ever again” he said, his eyes desperate to make Dean understand. “You know I’ll always be there when you need it.”

Dean’s lips broke into a smile, though his eyes were glassy of emotion. “I’m glad you’re here with me” he said after a moment, his voice so soft Cas had to hold back a shiver.

“I’m glad I’m here too” Cas answered, his voice low in fear to break the magic of the moment.

 

He couldn’t hear the chatter of the people now, as if all the sound had been sucked away into the air. He could only hear the distant swish of the attractions rising into the sky, the faint clatter of the water and the songs of the birds. Suddenly all he could see was Dean’s eyes, wide and shiny, his features drenched in neon, pink and blue and purple like beautiful bruises.

He saw Dean’s eyes widen a little, blinking rapidly with a rush of emotion, and the hunter drew in a small, chocked up breath. He made a tiny step closer, the space between them a thin corridor of air now. His inner torment was painted all across his features, for he didn’t know what to do, more unsure of himself than ever. Incapable of moving, Cas let him approach, afraid he would make him run away if he ever dared to make the first step.

Dean’s face was only a few inches away now. Cas could hear how short his breathing was, and he could see the distress and doubt clear and brutal swirling in his soul.

Dean’s eyes dived into Cas’, before they fell upon his mouth, and his eyelids closed as he leaned in, lashes fluttering on his cheekbones. Only then did Cas stirred and leaned in too.

 

When their lips touched, it sent a jolt in Cas’ body, so strong he nearly moved back, taken aback by the shock wave. But instead, he moved closer, deepening the sensation of electricity running through his veins. In that moment, neither of them thought much, they were moved by pure instinct, only by the buried hopes and dreams that had laid low for years. It was only guided by his heart that Dean rose a hand to cup Cas’ face, and Cas put his own palm on Dean’s shoulder, memory of the mark he had left on him leaving Hell.

Cas could feel Dean’s warm breaths against his face, and still taste the sugar on his lips, while Dean could feel the angel shivering against him, shaken by the flood of emotions rushing through him. The second their lips had touched, the sound of the fair had come back, swelled great and powerful. They were surrounded by hundreds of sounds, mixed together in an eerie symphony, swish sounds and carousel lullabies, deep basses and laughter filling the air around them. From afar, people who would have seen them would have swore a gentle white-blue light glowed from their two silhouettes, floating in soft tendrils into the night.

After a moment, Dean became aware of what was really happening, but he didn’t move, step back shocked and breathless. No, he pushed himself against Cas, still very gentle and afraid to hurt him. He could feel Cas’ fingertips burning like stars against his skin, even through his clothes. His fingers wandered in the angel’s hair, making it even more tousled. Every time one of them moved, and their lips briefly left the other’s, it felt like icy cold covering their skin, a shiver running down their spine, sinking in their bones, only eased when their mouths were touching again, warm and sweet and hungry.

 

When it came clear they were both breathless, their lungs near burning, they pulled apart, but only to lean their forehead against each other, drowning in each other’s breaths. There was no realization, they were very much aware of what had just happened. They only soaked in the memory, processing it very slowly in fear it might escape, reveal it was only a dream.

“It must be late” Dean whispered after a while, eyes still closed, enjoying the breeze on his face, the sound of Cas’ breathing close to him.

“Yes” Cas only answered, his voice tiny.

Slowly, Dean ripped himself from the embrace and finally crossed Cas’ eyes, wide and filled with light. He kept himself from rushing right back into him and press a hard kiss to his lips. He was too afraid to rush things and ruin it all.

“Do we have to go?” he murmured, his fingertips still in Cas’ hair, tucking little curling strands behind his ear.

“I wish we didn’t have to” Cas said, closing his eyes, enjoying the warmth of Dean’s palm against his cheek.

Dean had a small smile and slowly pulled him back to him. He put a light kiss on his lips, letting it linger for a few seconds, his eyelids shut tight to carve the memory into his head, forever. “Come” he said, his fingers slipping into Cas’ hand, leading him out of the dark to get back into the great chaos that was the fair.

They come back to the lockers, after almost forgetting to get their prizes back. The man watching over the lockers smiled at them when they entered, and the atmosphere turned so strange. They came into this room as friends and returned into it as, well, definitely something _more_.

 

The drive home was a silent as the one to the fair, but not for the same reasons. If their first silence was heavy with unsaid truths and bubbling feelings, it was now light and honest. On the outside, nothing seemed to have changed: Dean drove and glanced at Castiel from time to time, while this one stared at the road drenched in night by the window. But on the inside, all the locks around their hearts were broken. It felt as if all the weights of the world had been taken off their chests, as if there was nothing to fear anymore. It was some sort of rebirth, a feeling so deep and unsettling their whole being felt transformed.

In the same sweet silence they got out of the car and into the bunker. They walked in a bubble still echoing of carousel songs and loud music, smelling like sugar and scented fog.

 

Their bubble was only popped when Jack ran to them, chirping about Star Wars like a little bird. His eyes then fell on all the gifts Dean and Cas held in their arms and his eyes opened wide.

“What is that?” he asked, his voice tainted of awe as he looked upon the heap of stuffed animals, candies and shiny fake swords.

“Well, that was meant to be a surprise” Dean began, after needing a few seconds to wake from his reverie, “But that’s for you.”

Jack’s blue eyes open even wider, a smile spreading on his lips, lightening his whole face up. “Really?” he exclaimed.

Cas couldn’t help but smile in return. “We thought you’d like it.”

“I do!” Jack said before he wrapped them both in his arms, bringing them close to each other. “Thank you” the young Nephilim whispered, closing his eyes of bliss.

 

Dean and Cas then watched him go to his room, Mary helping him carrying his treasure. Sam went next to them, grinning.

“He’s definitely going to sleep on it like a dragon” he said, before he looked back at the two of them. “So, how did it go?” he asked, his gentle eyes darting between them.

Dean froze. “What?” he blurted, all the memories of his kiss with Cas flashing before his eyes. He didn’t even think once about what he was going to say to Sam, or if he was even going to tell him. He was caught out and his mind didn’t seem to want to shape any coherent sentences.

“I mean, did you have fun?” Sam asked, slightly frowning, looking between the two of them as if they were hiding something.

“Yes” Cas said, and Dean thanked him internally for saving the situation. “It was really incredible. And Dean even went into one of the flying attractions.”

Sam’s eyes opened wide. “Really?” He looked at his brother. “I thought you were afraid of heights?”

“Well, Cas forced me to do it” he said, and the angel turned to glare at him. Dean couldn’t keep a smile from spreading on his face, smile his brother didn’t fail to notice. “OK, I agreed to do it, and it wasn’t _that_ bad.”

Sam looked at Dean with an amused look. “Right. I guess you can do anything with the right company” he said, congratulating himself for the way Dean froze at his words. “Anyway, I guess we’re all going to turn in for the night now, right?”

“Yeah” Dean said, suddenly realizing how sore his body felt and how heavy his eyelids were. “I could sleep for a month right now.”

Sam laughed, but didn’t leave. He seemed to be waiting, for them both to come along with him, Dean realized too late. Now Sam was looking between him and Cas, as the two of them glanced at each other, uneasy. “You coming or not?”

“Yeah, yeah” Dean said, following Sam into the corridor, Cas behind him.

 

As Sam talked about the movie, Dean’s thoughts wandered away. He wanted to talk to Cas, he _had_ to. But now it felt so odd, and he couldn’t believe the two of them shared a passionate kiss not even two hours ago. He discreetly glanced at Cas through his lashes, but the angel was staring at the ground, his expression unreadable.

Sam arrived at his door. “Well, good night and see you two tomorrow morning?” he said, looking between them. Though they clearly tried to hide it, he noticed the way they avoided each other’s eyes, how they nervously swung on their feet. He smiled and wished them good night again, before closing his door.

Dean and Cas continued their way to their rooms, silent. Arrived at his own door, Dean stopped, a lump in his throat. “Well, good night I guess” he said.

“Good night Dean” Cas said, and when he looked up at Dean, the hunter felt his heart clench at the hurt and disappointment he saw on his face.

He wanted to move, to kiss him, to hold him close, just to do anything to let Cas know his feelings were still the same. But it was all so different now that they were back home. They weren’t surrounded by complete strangers anymore, and there were no more blinding lights and deafening basses to drown the tension anymore, no more night to hide them.

Dean bit his tongue and tried to reach to Cas, but this one had already moved back, and gave him a last sad look before he closed the door behind him, thinking the few hours of bliss he lived were the only ones he would ever have.

 

Dean entered his room, closed the door and leaned his back against it. He never had to sort things out, it had always been easy, _too_ easy. He never really had the occasion to make a relationship serious, to put it on display for everyone to see. Now his head and heart ached and he went to sit on his bed, burying his face in his hands.

He could pretend nothing happened. He knew Cas wouldn’t tell a soul about it. No, he would keep it silent, close to his chest and try to forget it. Yes, Dean could pretend nothing happened during that night under the neon lights and swishing of the attractions. This way, he wouldn’t have to face reality, the ups and downs of a relationship so peculiar.

But the very thought of acting like this made him sick. How could he do that to someone he cared about, to someone he _loved_? Sure, it would be easy, to act like a heartless bastard and pretend it had been an accident or a game, but Dean was sure a part of his soul would be broken forever if he did so.

 

Dean stood up. Easy be damned! Nothing in his life was easy, and he had always lived through it. He had always fought, no matter what. So why not now?

He stormed out of this room as quietly as he could and entered Cas’ without even knocking.

 

Cas was sitting on his bed, eyes lost into space. He started when he saw Dean coming in and stood up, eyes alert and afraid.

“Dean?” he said, making a few steps to him, “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” he said, his heart beating too fast at the thought Dean might be hurt in any way.

 

But before he could let the worry devour his heart, Dean suddenly crossed the room, took Cas’ face in his hands and kissed him. Cas’ eyes shot wide open, his breathing getting caught in his throat and he had to use all his strength not to let his grace burn every light for miles around.

Dean stepped back, but did not move his hands. “I’m not running away. Not this time. Not anymore.” He dived his eyes into Cas’, and they were brutally honest, bright and alive like emerald jungles.

Cas drew a breath in. “I should have made you fly a long time ago” he whispered, staring at Dean’s face, memorizing every aspect of it never to forget it if Dean ever went away.

 

Except Dean wasn’t going anywhere.

 

He snorted. “Shut up” he said, and his lips broke into a smile, his eyes glassy of joy, before he leaned to Cas, and kissed him again, a long, sweet kiss that still tasted like sugar and fireworks. Cas couldn’t help but smile against his mouth, feeling like his heart was finally full, all his being drowning in a great ocean of light.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is what happened when you're gay and miss funfairs like hell, and when you're incapable of writing short fics. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Anyway, thanks for reading my fic, I hope you liked it, and your support means everything to me! ♥


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